QBQ! The Question Behind the Question By John G. Miller
What to really ask yourself to eliminate blame, complaining and procrastination
Author	Founder of QBQ, Inc. which is an organizational development firm whose work is based around Personal Accountability as a core value for organizations and individuals.
QBQ – The Book for anyone who has heard these questions: Ø When is that department going to do its job? Ø Why don’t they communicate better? Ø Who dropped the ball? Ø Why do we have all this change? Ø When is someone going to train me?	LBL: All these questions indicate a lack of personal responsibility or accountability.
Picture of Personal Responsibility – when busy or under stress we often think things like: Ø Why do I have to do everything around here? Ø Who’s supposed to be covering this area anyway? Ø When is management going to do x, y or z? Ø Why are we always so short-staffed? Ø When are our customers going to learn x better?	LBL: These are all negative or defensive and don’t solve the problem. This is the essence of QBQ: making better choices in the moment by asking better questions.
Making better choices Ø We always have a choice o No “Have to’s” or “I can’ts”	LBL: Make better choices
Guidelines for QBQ	LBL: Ø Start with ‘What’ or ‘How’ o NOT: ‘Why’, ‘When’ or ‘Who’ Ø Contain ‘I’ o NOT: they, them, we or you Ø Focus on action Ø Example: What can I do?
Don’t ask ‘Why’? Ø Try saying aloud: o Why don’t others work harder? o Why is this happening to me? o Why do they make it so difficult for me to do my job? Ø How do these make you feel? o Answer: Powerless and like a victim. Known as victim thinking.	LBL: QBQ’s for the questions Ø How can I do my job better today? Ø What can I do to improve the situation? Ø How can I support others?
Why is this happening to me? Ø Stress is a choice o Whatever trigger event you always choose your response Ø Stress is also a result of our choices Ø Above question leads to feeling out of control or victim mindset.	LBL: Why me only adds to your stress.
Why do we have to go through change? Ø Author tells story of a plane’s engine going out and how the pilot had to improvise and ‘fly the plane differently’ to overcome.	LBL: QBQ for this question: Ø How can I adapt to a changing world?
Why don’t they communicate better?	LBL: QBQ for this question: Ø How can I better understand you?
Don’t ask ‘When’? Ø Example Questions: o When will they take care of x? o When will the customer call back? o When will we get the information needed to make decisions? Ø Show no choice but to wait or put off action until another time i.e. procrastination. Ø Sneaky problem because you put it off until a little later, then a little later, etc. until it becomes a serious problem. Ø Most people don’t hesitate to admit to procrastinating therefore organizations have it, too. Ø Also increases stress which makes it costly to all.	LBL: QBQ (remember the answers are in the questions): Ø What solution can I provide? Ø How can I more creatively reach the customer? Ø What can I do to find information to make the decision?
Procrastination – Friend of Failure	LBL: Author tells story of a glass desk top left out due to procrastination and how it almost injured his small child.
When will we get more tools or better systems? Ø “Creativity is thinking outside the box” vs. “Succeeding within the box” o Thinking too much about what we don’t have is more procrastination! o Ironically, success usually results in getting more/better!	LBL: QBQ for this question: Ø How can I achieve with the resources I have?
When are we going to hear something new? Ø Don’t need new thing, need to practice fundamentals such as personal accountability.	LBL: QBQ for this question: Ø How can I apply what I’m hearing?
Don’t ask ‘Who’? or Break the Circle of Blame Ø Example questions: o Who made the mistake? o Who missed the deadline? o Who dropped the ball? Ø All looking for a scapegoat to blame Ø Solves nothing, creates fear destroys creativity and builds walls. Must practice Accountability	LBL: QBQ for these questions: Ø What can I do today to solve the problem? Ø How can I help move the project forward? Ø What action can I take to ‘own’ the situation?
Silos – Do you have them in your organization? Ø ‘That’s not my job”	LBL: Team building training seems to overlook the fact that ‘we’re on the same team’.
‘Beat the Ref’ Ø Who is the ‘ref’ in your life? What person or situation beyond your control is standing between you and success? o Supervisor that over-manages? o Inefficient systems? o A personal situation that saps your energy?	LBL: There are always barriers to achievement. You must succeed no matter how many bad calls the ref throws at you.
Who Dropped the Ball? Ø Author tells a story about a flight he was on that was stuck on the runway and a stewardess that went out of the way to make it more fun.	LBL: QBQ for this question: Ø What can I do right now to make a difference?
Ownership Ø Author tells a personal story about the phone company customer service rep who said ‘I can’t explain it but I sure can apologize for it’.	LBL: Ownership is defined as ‘A commitment of head, heard and hand to fix problems and never again affix blame’. Have you made the commitment?
Foundation of Teamwork Ø Would we ever ask one animal to have the characteristics of another animal? No! Ø Are you on teams with people that are different than you? Yes!	LBL: Appreciate the gifts and strengths of your teammates just as they are. This is the foundation of teamwork.
Making Accountability Personal: QBQ’s have ‘I’ in them Ø Author tells story of attending organization’s meeting where leader put up a sign that said ‘Accountability begins with You’. It really begins with ‘I’! Ø You cannot change other people. You can only control your own thoughts and actions.	LBL: When you focus your thoughts and energy on what you can control, it equals a more effective, much happier and less frustrated you.
I can only change me Ø Who have you been thinking needs this QBQ ‘stuff’? ‘They do!’ Ø Managers don’t change people. They coach, counsel, teach and guide people but no one can change another person Ø This is a hard lesson to really ‘get’ because you need to honestly examine the reality of your thoughts and actions. Ø When author asks ‘What is the number one thing you would change to improve the effectiveness of your organization?’ he gets the “List of P’s” – Product, Promotions, Policies, Processes, Procedures, Pricing, & People. o No one ever says ‘me’	LBL: Use ‘What’ and ‘How’ and then ‘I’. This brings the focus back to you.
“He Didn’t, I Did” Ø Author tells personal story of a friend who had a co-worker that she disliked and then later worked again with agreeably. When asked what changed, she said ‘I stopped trying to change him’.	LBL: The author is reiterating the importance of the fact that you can only change yourself.
‘When Will Others Walk Their Talk?’ Ø Integrity means ‘Being what I say I am by acting in accordance with my own words.’ Ø QBQ leads to integrity because integrity begins with me – not others – asking the question ‘How can I practice the principles I espouse?’	LBL: Instead of asking others this question, let’s walk our own talk first.
An Integrity Test Ø Does what you say about the organization you work for match at home and at work?	LBL: Believe or leave.
The Power of One Ø One of the most tempting questions to ask when you first learn about QBQ is ‘What can we do?’ Ø Problem is ‘we’ can’t change – only one person at a time can change. Ø Watch out for the following: o The team didn’t meet the deadline o The team wasn’t given enough resources o The team didn’t get the job done o The team didn’t have a clear mission	LBL: Personal accountability is not about changing others. It’s about making a difference by changing ourselves. Personal accountability. The power of one.
A QBQ Twist Ø Remember the Serenity Prayer: o God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.	LBL: QBQ Twist on the Serenity Prayer: Ø God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can and the wisdom to know…it’s me!
Will the Real Role Models Please Stand Up? Ø Big fuss made when famous people get out of line. But in reality, no public figure is a role model for our kids. That’s our job. Ø It’s equally true for all of us. Not matter our role, someone is watching and emulating our behavior.	LBL: Modeling is the most powerful of all teachers. Who’s watching you?
Practicing Personal Accountability: All QBQs focus on action Ø Choose to stop complaining and focus on action. Ø QBQs need to be action-focused by adding such verbs as ‘do’, ‘make’, achieve’ and ‘build’ to questions that start with ‘What’ or ‘How’ and contain an ‘I’.	LBL: The practice of personal accountability: We discipline our thoughts. We ask better questions. We take action.
The Risk of Doing Nothing Ø Even though there are risks involved in taking action, the alternative, inaction, is almost never the better choice. o Action, even when it leads to mistakes, brings learning and growth. Inaction brings stagnation and atrophy. o Action leads us towards solutions. Inaction at best does nothing and holds us in the past. o Action requires courage. Inaction often indicates fear. o Action builds confidence; inaction, doubt.	LBL: Decide what to do. Then take action.
Thanks for Shopping at the Home Depot! Ø The author tells about his daughter who when faced with the inability to break $100 bill from her cashier drawer at Home Depot, got $2.89 out of her purse and paid the man’s bill rather than make him and everyone else in line wait. The man returned with a tip for her and said they were going to get all their supplies from Home Depot now.	LBL: This is QBQ Service!
Leaders at all Levels Ø The number of years you’ve been around doesn’t automatically equate with being a good leader, nor does a title! And the things we acquire are not measures of our leadership ability. Ø Leadership is more than anything about the way we think. It’s a moment-to-moment disciplining of our thoughts.	LBL: If we think like leaders, we are leaders. Are you a leader? Think about it.
The Cornerstone of Leadership Ø Leaders must respond properly to requests. These are examples of how NOT to respond: o Wait a minute, who works for whom here anyway? o Well I don’t know, what have you done for me lately? o Remember when you dropped the ball? o If I do this for you, what will you do for me? o Let me check your performance review and see if you are hitting all the numbers. If you are, I may just help you.	LBL: ‘Servant leadership’ is the QBQ way, and it requires a humble spirit combined with a servant’s heart. Humility is the cornerstone of leadership.
Leaders are Not Problem Solvers Ø Don’t do peoples work for them, rather allow them to learn and add value. Ø QBQ is not about covering for people, taking on their duties and responsibilities or doing it ‘all by myself’.	LBL: Leaders are not problem solvers, they are problem givers. They let others tackle the problem, design their own solutions and take action. How else can people learn? How else can leaders serve?
A Great List of Lousy Questions	LBL: The author gives us a list of various IQ’s with corresponding QBQs to help practice in creating QBQs
Spirit of QBQ Ø ‘letter’ vs. ‘spirit’ of a law Ø Letter = QBQ Guidelines Ø Spirit of QBQ is personal accountability: o No more victim thinking, procrastinating or blaming o I can only change me o Take action! Ø You can construct a QBQ that follows the ‘letter’ but not the ‘spirit’ o What can I do to make you change? o How can I avoid responsibility in this matter? o What action can I take right now to do the wrong thing? o Who can I blame today?	LBL: Follow both the letter and the spirit of QBQs when you construct one!
Wisdom: What we learn after we know it all.	LBL: I’m not a finished product. Are you?
We Buy Too Many Books Ø Learning is not attending, listening or reading. Nor is it merely about gaining knowledge. Ø Learning is really about translating knowing what to do into doing what we know. It’s about changing…	LBL: If we have not changed we have not learned. What have you learned today?
A Final Picture Ø Author’s story of the man in the wheelchair and the blown newspapers that he said was ‘his mess’. Ø We need this spirit in ourselves and in our organizations	LBL: We need QBQs so that our organizations can be places where we bring out the best in each other, work together the way teams are supposed to, and make great things happen.
The Motor of Learning	LBL: Repetition is the motor of learning. Read this again!